A.M.D.G

Being the Twenty-Second Day of the month of November,

the Two thousand and Sixth Year of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Official Statement

Following the most appalling situation of which my own name has been misused countless times, I,in my position hath decided to declare the following statements:

1. I, Job Ang, did NOT undertake any action or attempt to write the
article in which I supposedly enticed you to adopting a pseudo-crustaceanic
creature as a class pet.

2. The abovementioned situation is most disgusting and perpetrators are to cease their actions immediately.

3. Failing of which, perpetrators will be hunted down, hung, drawn and quartered.

4. The statements which were declared in my name in the abovementioned situation were not logical considering my high position, bearing and utter contempt for such lowly activities.

My dear friends,

The desperate nature of this situation calls for desperate measures. Due to overwhelming inquiries with regards to the abovementioned situation I have condescended (Yes, Miss Sieyen, you were right in declaring surprise at me “supposedly” having posted a message.) to officially declare that I had not taken part or undertook the creation of that post to which my name was vulgarly attached. The Misters and Misses of this class will need to understand that any message bearing the greeting “Ladies and Gentlemen” may not be a message from me, as this message will demonstrate. I thank you for your good faith in my person.

In Nominum

Patris, et Fillis et Spirito Sanctis,

Amen